To be honest with y'all, (not Southern, I just like saying y'all) I'm a procrastinator. I can't do anything without a deadline and solid reason. Most of the time, I wind up doing school projects the day before it's due. So naturally, I don't get straight A's. If I do everything half assed, then I shouldn't expect full results. And I don't. (Total lie) Ok, school analogies aside, it totally effects my writing. How? Well, um...everything? I'm trying to do Camp Nanowrimo for August and I was on a roll. I was on a roll until three days ago, that is. Three days ago, my mental drive crashed. (Whoohoohoo, who said anything about being sane? No? You didn't think anything about sanity until now? Oh...) Now I'm in a writing slump. I hate my story. I hate the beginning, the middle, and the future end. I hate my characters. I just hate everything about it. Sooooo...I'm not sure if I can continue. I convinced a friend of mine to join on the mighty fine writing adventure but I want out. *tightens noose* Everyone (meaning three people, two of which I don't actually know) says I should stick it out until the end. But here's the problem...
I. Don't. Wanna.
I'm trying to coax myself into writing again and I don't want to spend the 31st of August crying my eyes out and pounding random words (mainly curse words) into my word doc while thinking "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I should've gotten more done before the deadline's only a few hours away". Um...sound familiar, anyone? *coughmecough* Yeah, that's how I feel before a project's due. It doesn't help that my brother takes 30 minutes to do the same project and gets a better grade than me. (Sorry, I got distracted again) Well, I hate that panic.
Deep breath, Julie.
So there you go, baby steps. Today I managed three moderately sized paragraphs and tomorrow I'm aiming for two pages. It's not a lot but it's better than nothing. (Plus, I kind of want to know what it's like to crazy type a few minutes away from the end. Will it be like a writing high if I make it?)
Ohmygod, how the hell am I supposed to keep my characters consistent if I can't even be consistent in what I want? *screams*