I think my friends are using me...

Okay, sorry for being a sucky blogger and not blogging anything lately. I'm just lazy. Are those shoes new? Love what you've done with your hair by the way. I think you've lost weight! :D


Well, right this second, I'm typing without the help of my right ring finger. Somehow, being the complete idiot I am, I screwed it up. But that's not what this post is about. 


I'm a boring person. I don't like taking risks and I lack a working sense of humor. So why do my friends keep me around? Am I some kind of charity case? Do they lack the guts to kick me out? Do they have extremely bad judgement? Do they enjoy mocking me behind my back?


Nope. I have books.


And I've buddied up with a circle of book crazed teenage girls. It's like be a drug dealer. They just keep coming back for more and they CAN'T leave me because doing so cuts off their steady supply of new books. Because I'm the freakin' supplier.* Seriously. One of my friends had a withdrawal via facebook at one in the morning. **

• I finished Clockwork Angel 35 minutes ago. I still can't sleep. So, I'm going to message you the reasons why you should try EXTRA ESPECIALLY HARD to get that book to me.
• 1. [removed friend's name] is a TROLL. Trolls are illiterate. They can't read! She's simply stealing the book! Probably to eat it.
• 2. I am not a troll. I would not eat it.
• I just realized that I didn't say what book you need to get to me! Well, if it wasn't obvious,
• GIVE ME CLOCKWORK PRINCE.
• please?
• 3. I will not squish its cover! You'll see tomorrow…that is to say, later today, that Clockwork Angel is still all rounded and pretty!
• 4. After reading it, I would be a good girl and read The Lost Hero.
• 5. Plus, after reading it, I would move on to Iron King. Although I may read that tonight (22 hours from now or so) and Mia wouldn't be pissed because I wouldn't take forever to return her book!
• 6. You're hella cool! And sucking up to people totally works when you want stuff from them! Stuff like, for instance, books. All hypothetical of course.
• 7. I will spam the HELL out of your twitter with requests for the book it you do not do this, and if you reply JARROD PERKINS WILL SEE YOUR TWEETS AND JUDGE YOU.
  
  

  
  

  • 8. I will stop threatening you if you give me the book.
  • 9. NOTHING happens between Jem and Tessa in Clockwork Angel. And there are rumors that STUFF happens in Clockwork Prince. Uh, hello? Dying here?
  • 10. Jem needs to punch Will in the face.
  • 11. The tenth and eleventh points may not be supporting my cause, but they're true. Soooo true! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL OF THE UNDERWATER AUTOMATONS! Did they go, "pffft zap!" and die? Or did they magically have gills all along?
  • 12. I TOTALLY HEARD THAT THE DOCTOR COMES AND TAKES JACE AND SIMON BACK IN TIME TO MEET JEM AND WILL AND JEM AND WILL ARE ALL LIKE, "LAAAAAAAAAME."
  • 13. I'm actually starting to become tired, so my reasons are getting hilarious. Hilarity = Persuasion, right?
  • 14. I AM A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING. With love and goodness in my heart. I deserve this book.
  • 15. I will get you a FABULOUS Christmas present if you bring me the book. FAB. U. LOUS. We're talking Amazon / Barnes and Noble gift cards here.
    
    

    
    

    • 16. Or another present, if you want. As long as it's in my wimpy budget.
    • 17. YES, SIXTEEN IS A LEGITIMATE REASON.
    • 18. So is seventeen.
    • 19. I'm getting waaaaaaay too tired.
    • 20. You gave me Clockwork Angel! You did this to me! WWWWHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
    • 21. Do it for Jem! Bring me Clockwork Prince for JEM! The poor guy has terminal cancer, for Angel's sake
    • 22. I just made an EPIC reference to The Infernal Devices back there.
    • 23. The world is spinning. I'm reallly tired, aren't I?
    • 24. You're welcome. I am a fanTABULOUS friend, sending you an incredibly long message at 1:20 in the morning
    • 25. I Facebook-messaged you this instead of texting you, which you should be thankful for. This so would have woken you up.
    • 26. 

      Unattractive photos of me have been posted on Facebook!
      The book would be comfort.
      Kind of like ice cream sundaes.
      Or bunnies. Or rainbows.
    • 27. I only just learned how old Church is! Cassandra Clare can't leave me with such a cliffhanger! WHAT HAPPENS TO CHURCH IN THE TIME BETWEEN TID and TMI? haaahahah!
    • 28. The Mortal Instruments is TMI. lolololololololol
    • 29. CLOCKWORK PRINCE IS NOOOOOOT TMI!
    • 30. Please. I'm sleeping now. Consider my 

      offers/threats/thoughts while being delirious.
      
      
      Have you ever felt like you were being used? Have you ever been used? Have you ever thrown away your dignity on facebook?
      
      
      *I can't believe I just compared myself to a drug dealer.
      
      
      **I'm not being a heinus bitch by posting this. My friend who sent this message to me actually suggested I turn it into a blog post.